Here are some of them:

HOW TO RAISE CHILDREN

-Daddy, do you think Mother knows how to raise children?

-What makes you ask that?

-Well, she asks me to go to bed when I'm wide awake & she makes me get up to school when I'm awfully sleepy !

THE FIRST ONE

All the kids were trying to impress Grandpa, who had come for a visit. Timmy boasted, 'I'm first in arithmetic, Grandpa'.

Sally said she had come first in the spelling bee. Grandpa asked little Billy:'What are you first in, Billy?'

'Well, I'm the first one out of the door when the bell rings'.

BACK TO 'PRIMARY EDUCATION'

---

TOO FOND OF TALKING

A politician was invited to give a talk on Americanosms to the pupils of the grammar school he had attended as a boy.

'When I see your smiling faces before me'-he began in the accepted oratorical style,'it takes me back to my childhood.Why is it, my dear boys and girls, you are all so happy?'

He paused for the rhetorical effect, and instanly up went a grimy hand from the front row.

'Well, my lad, what is it?'

'Thr reason we are so happy is if you talk long enough we won't have a geography lesson this morning'

THE ONLY ONE

A young teacher just beginning his career asks advice of an old member of the faculty: 'What have you learned in your years of experience?'

' I've learned the only thing for sure.Often you will find while you are giving a lesson in class that there is on young upstart who always disagrees with you. Tell me, would you stop him and try to make him shut up right then and there?'

'I suppose, I would'

'Well, don't. He's probably the only one who is listening to you.'

BACK TO 'SECONDARY EDUCATION'

---

HAPPY NEW YEAR

During an exam before X-mas, one of the students did not know how to answer the question so he wrote:'God knows! I don't. Merry X-mas!'

When the examination papers came back, the student saw that the professor had written on his paper: 'God gets 100, you-0. Happy New Year!'

* * *

One day professor couldn't stay for his afternoon classes, so he put a notice on the door , which read the follows:'Professor Evans won't be able to meet his classes this afternoon'

Then he went to put his coat and on his way out saw that some student had rubbed off the letter 'c' in the word 'classes' on the notice. The professor smiled and rubbed off the letter 'l' in the word 'lasses'

BACK TO 'FURTHER EDUCATION'

---