Scott
Manley/spm@star.arm.ac.uk |
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: http://star.arm.ac.uk/~spm/babble.html
Дата изменения: Wed Mar 8 15:36:57 2000 Дата индексирования: Mon Oct 1 21:22:53 2012 Кодировка: Поисковые слова: quasar |
Scott Talks Garbage
Introduction - Automatic Babble Generator - Hate Mail- But Seriously
Yeah right, like anyone's going to actually spend their time reading me talking about random things, like work, or abysinnian goats cheese or anything else.
Strangely this could turn out to resemble the babble file on Monochrome, a place where people go to talk about nothing, usually for the simple purpose of improving their spod scores. Well I never have the time or lack of imagination to talk about complete irrelevancies so I wrote a piece of code to automatically write such comments for me. So my first bit of babble is presenting.....
(AKA AOL user Simulator)
Yes you too can take the drudgery out of spamming files with irrelevant comments, this wonderful little program sits on top of your shell, giving you extra spamming functionality. What's more it is guaranteed NEVER to try and sell people stuff or promise to make them rich via silly pyramid schemes therefore avoiding the possibility of incurring the wrath of netizens who know what a menace spamming is in the wrong hands.
Yes this is guaranteed to produce a continuous stream of drivel on demand without all the brain work involved in being remotely original or irrelevant.
Yes comments such as
Are now no more than a control-A away, or if you are using the Monochrome Bulletin Board then control-B will even add your comment to a file. And as a bonus, to enusre that the comments are never intentionally relevant (why would you want that?) the code is designed to be totally context insensitive with the ability to remain totally oblivious to the current environment.
In a 1 hour test a user of this script managed to make more irrelevant comments than he does during an entire year - representing a massive 876600% increase in spodding capability!!!!!!
Actually come to think of it this is too dangerous to be left in the hands of the public so just ignore all that because you're not getting a copy , (well not for free anyway).
Caution: This code is not guranteed to generate comments which are interesting, conversation stoppers or proof against prosecution for libel, if these concern you then I advise against the use of this software until you at least know how to make relevant conversation which won't get you prosecuted, or make you the target of a hugely powerful international group such as Microsoft, The US government or the followers of Islam. Or at least can buy yourself insurance against the initiation of hostilities by one or more governments/corporations/species against you and the evil which you represent in their eyes.
A few Days ago I recieved this e-mail from a friend......
Subject: Prepare for ...
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Whoosh
SPLAT! :)
**** * * *** * *
* * ** * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * *
**** * ** *** * *
*** * * *
* * * * * *
* * * * * *
* * * * * *
***** ******* * *
* * * * * *
* * * * * *
* * * * * *
***** * * ****** ******
Consider yourself hit by a snowball.
**************************************************************************
send this message to as many people as possible, in the first
*INTERNATIONAL E-MAIL SNOWBALL FIGHT!*
send it back or to people already listed above. send it to your
parents, siblings, politicians, teachers, bullies or anyone else you've
wanted to hit with a snowball. have fun. but don't blame me if you're
hit.
remember: e-mail snowballs don't hurt, don't get you soaked and
don't melt away. throw one today!
This Attack on my being could not go unpunished , and after considering the usual diplomatic actions which could be taken in response to this a suitable response was formulated, approved and with minimal delay dispatched to the target......
Subject:Warning Launch Detection From spm@star.arm.ac.uk
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Warning: ICBM Launch Detection from spm@star.arm.ac.uk
Estimated Time to Target: 20 minutes
Full Nuclear Response advised.
Followed 20 minutes later by...
Subject: Nuclear Detonation Registered!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
*************
******,.';.,.;',';.******
****';.,.;'';.<>:":><.;';.,>;****
**';.,.;':><>:";.,.;':><>:":.,.;';.**
*';.,.;';.,,,,.;":><>:":><>:";.,.;';.,*
*';.,.:":><>:";.,.;| |';.,>:":><>:';.,,*
**';.,.;';.,.;;*| :|' |||*';.,..":><>:;**
***';.,.;':><;* || ||.| | *';.,.;';.,;***
**":.,.;'":* |>|| || | *.,.;.,.;;**
***;.,.;** || | ||| **:><>:***
****** | |||| | ******
|||| | |
| |||||
|| | | |
| |||||||
|| | | |
| | || |
||| | |||
| | || |
.*#|| || |||#*.
.*#@@| || || |@@#*.
// ) ) //
//___/ / ___ ___ _ __ //
/ __ ( // ) ) // ) ) // ) ) ) ) //
// ) ) // / / // / / // / / / /
//____/ / ((___/ / ((___/ / // / / / / //
Consider Yourself Nuked!
In fact consider everyone withing a 3 mile radius to be nuked - go on tell
them that they're victims in the first
*E-MAIL GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR WAR*
Send it to any major poulation centre and claim your victims!
Your Targets don't even need to be enlightened as to the use of E-mail - just
find someone within a few miles who is and consider vengeance delivered in a
fireball of incredible destruction.
remember: e-mail nukes don't hurt, don't get you irradiated and don't leave
fallout. Launch one today!
Even Cleaner than a neutron Bomb!
Since initiating this conflict I have been subject to attacks from other parties as this conflict has escalted beyond the original scope of the action. It appears that policy of Mutually Assured Destruction exists even on the internet (Thanks to procmail).
Fortunately my research has allowed me to produce the E-mail Launch Detections and E-mail terminal Defence ABM's, while research continues into E-mail Lasers, Rail-Guns and Particle Beam Technology for early interception. And of course the ability to use non-local accounts for attacks has allowed attacks to be made without exposing aggressors to unecessary risks.
Via the Miracle of E-Mail !
And once research is complete I hope to raise the stakes by an order of magnitude by introducing the e-mail asteroid/comet impacts. and a little further in the future there may be hope for e-mail nova-triggers.
How serious can someone who wrote a program to create irelevant messages ?
Someone who cares about the fact that somebody is calculating just how much time he and many other users spend on a bulletin board, and how many comments they add.
Someone who is about to show off the fact that he is in the top 5 of such tables.
Someone who juggles to help focus his mind
Someone who can quote the entire scripts of the Star Wars Trilogy, and wonders why other people can't
Someon who owns hundreds of CDs and can name a hunderd more that he 'simply must have'