Документ взят из кэша поисковой машины. Адрес оригинального документа : http://crydee.sai.msu.ru/ftproot/pub/misc/doc/humor/microsoft/ms.template Дата изменения: Tue May 30 19:42:26 1995 Дата индексирования: Mon Dec 24 10:54:48 2007 Кодировка:

In an effort to increase the number of "Microsoft Announcements" on the
net, I have created the following template file where all one has to do is
replace the text delimited by "<" and ">" with the information of your
choice.

MICROSOFT ANNOUNCES < insert new M$ application name >


REDMOND, WASHINGTON -- In an effort to < insert M$'s lame idea about what
user's need >, Microsoft announced today that < insert M$'s lame answer to
lame idea >.

"< Dumb quote from a M$ employee about how user's will `benefit' from this
new M$ application >" said a Microsoft spokesperson who requested to remain
anonymous.

Industry analysts were quick to praise the decision, calling it "bold and
innovative!" "This new < insert new M$ application name > will free
Windows users from < some bug or missing feature which is M$'s fault in the
first place >. It also gives Windows a new feeling of < something that
would make anyone using any other OS fall asleep >", said a member of
Ziff-Davis Publishing's Editorial Staff. "This is precisely why < insert
competing software application's name > is failing in the marketplace --
they have failed to deliver a < enter quality that only a Business Major
turned computer journalist could dream up >."

When asked when < insert new M$ application name > would be available, a
Microsoft spokesperson said "< insert convoluted quote that convinces the
user that the application will be released soon or even yesterday, but
doesn't commit to any specific date >" The spokesperson also added, "It
really doesn't matter since < insert new M$ application name > is destined
to be the most < insert glorified praise for non-existent application and
be sure to mention how it will be `powerful' and `dominate' the world
software market >."

Market and industry analysts quickly agreed adding that "< insert
new M$ application name > has already revolutionized the industry."

A spokesperson from < insert competing software vendor's name > disagreed
however. "Microsoft is still trying to sell products that don't exist. <
insert competing software vendor's name > has been shipping < insert
competing product that is unheard of thanks to mass sucking of Bill The
Gates's genitals by the public (and Joan L. Brewer) > since < insert date
from pre-history (see Jurassic Park for examples) >. < insert new M$
application name > or whatever it's called, still relies on DOS's < insert
stupid part of stupid DOS operating system > and is not a true < insert
latest computer jive for "modern" >." He added that "users who think that
< insert new M$ application name > will have no problems will be in for a
surprise."

Most users seem to remain unconvinced however. "< insert new M$
application name > will < insert a nonsense list of things anyone using any
other OS has been using since the ENIAC > and it won't have any bugs or
compatibility problems because it's from Microsoft. Why should I buy <
insert competing software application's name > which is less than perfect
when < insert new M$ application name > is right around the corner?"